It’s been awhile since my last posting so I thought it was time to surface again. We just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary and 29th year together. I have to admit, however, neither of us remembered the date until a relative sent us their good wishes. Fortunately we had memorialized the date on the sidewalk outside our house when new cement was poured. So a quick walk out the front door confirmed the timing. Yep we definitely were married the first time on February 27, 2004 after 19 years of being engaged.
WOW! 10 years! Soon a feeling of panic wells up into my stomach. What’s a good Butch Wife supposed to do for a 10th anniversary? There must be some kind of rule here. I am pretty sure straight people know about such things but I’m still a little fuzzy in this area. I did remember reading somewhere that the types of anniversary gifts one should purchase has already been defined! Just think. Someone actually sat down one day and decided on what materials a wedding gift should be made of for every year of a marriage. I wonder how that came to pass. Was it just some random guy sitting around thinking, “Now I will make a list of what type of gift to give my spouse for the rest of my life so I don’t have to think about it every year!” Really? Or was there a major discovery made way back when whose contents included a scroll from heaven noting “Only these items will confirm one’s love to another.” Somehow I doubt that but who knows. Who am I to argue. Oh joy, oh rapture….there’s a list. I love lists.
So off to the internet I go to find out what kind of gift to buy my lovely wife for our 10th anniversary. To my horror I found it was diamonds! Yep, diamonds. Couldn’t be quartz, painted rocks or chocolates. Noooo!!! It has to be diamonds. God save me please.
Now I’m usually quite generous with those I love and normally have no qualms about spending money. But are diamonds REALLY necessary to prove my worth as a truly extraordinary Butch Wife? This is my quandary. Ya, they’re pretty, come in all shapes and sizes, and my wife is certainly worth all things wonderful. But lets just take a moment here. Consider the following: In one jewelry store I looked at a basic diamond necklace – rather plane, with a diamond you could at least see on the end of a silver chain. Nice, simple, and I was sure it would look great around her neck so I ask in a rather excited tone, “How much for this one?” I was astonished to hear a sweet little voice from the store clerk say, “Oh, that one’s on sale….just $2000 plus tax.” WHAT?? No, that wasn’t going to happen. I can be generous but there’s a limit….right?
After much hemming and hawing I ended up getting some beautiful multi-colored roses from South America in a gorgeous arrangement, and found a local jewelry artisan on our hill who had made a stunning gold tear drop shaped necklace that could worn everyday of her life. When I gave them both to her she was thrilled. And to me those ‘non-traditional’ anniversary gifts were more ‘my girl’ than diamonds. Not that she isn’t WORTH diamonds, of course, but knowing her the way I do, she would worry about wearing them for fear of losing them, so they would just sit in her jewelry box, unworn, for safety’s sake. At least with these gifts she can enjoy them for weeks and years to come, and they were both things she loves anyway.
Butch Wife Tip #31
I love my wife. I really do and I have pledged my life to her for all time. I will never, ever waiver on that score. But diamonds in a box do not always a Butch Wife Extraordinaire make in my book. I don’t think my intent to show her that love can be defined by someone else’s pre-defined list. When choosing an anniversary gift for your wife, think of her and what she might like, not what someone else tells you ‘should’ be the right thing to give to her. To me, an expression of love and commitment doesn’t have to come in a box. It’s a daily reaffirmation, and can be as simple as a kiss and a hug. Of course chocolates work a lot of times as well. I’m just sayin…..!
Butch Wife Extraordinaire-in-Training