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#25 – There IS a pony under there somewhere!!!

22 Nov

I experienced some unusual moments in Canada this week and somehow felt uplifted.  For example, a couple of nights ago I went to a local hamburger/sports bar near my hotel for dinner to watch a football game.  Next to my table in the bar a small group of 20-something’s were talking and laughing while playing the card game Go Fish.  Think of it…..young adults not really drinking heavily in a bar and enjoying playing Go Fish!

After a big smile flashes across my face and a chuckle slips out of my mouth, I turn to eat my dinner.  When I looked across the room between bites I saw an 80-something couple laughing and talking during their dinner with a look of true interest for the other in their eyes.  No vacant stares into space from either husband or wife, no angry sounding talk, no long, silent lulls in their conversation –  just a couple truly enjoying each other’s company.   Think of it……old adults who still love each other.

As I sat in this unfamiliar place watching the people around me I wondered if I would ever feel too old to do young things or too bored with life to forget that I can love and be loved.  Can a Butch Wife Extraordinaire remain a true Butch Wife if she still likes to play with pickup sticks and skip along the street?  I whistle and I like to whistle even if I’m off key.  Does a real butch wife do that?

What makes someone lose interest in life?  Does it happen when life throws loss our way, as it inevitably does, and lets our dreams fade and our hearts harden?  Or does it occur when we only act as humans doing rather than humans being?  Can you lose interest in life because things become more important than people? Does a Butch Wife have to be serious and responsible to the point that laughter becomes quiet and seldom heard?  God I hope not.

I remember growing up in the hills of West Virginia knowing we didn’t have a lot of money, but relishing in the laughter and kidding we did together as a family.  My father had a terrific sense of humor and my mother became a constant target for all of us to tease.  It was fun to watch and participate in, and the whole time there was no question of whether life was interesting or not.  Of course it was and always would be.  I remember the sheer happiness I felt as a 6 year old when meeting up with friends down by the river.  We would sit on the banks watching the water flow, continually tossing and retrieving a homemade fishing line with its safety pin hook hoping someday to catch something.  We never did catch a fish, but we shared our world and sang songs together thinking it would coax the fish ever closer to our un-baited hooks.  God I loved those days.

I am now an officially older person and wondered recently if I might lose interest in life.  I don’t think I will.  I still haven’t jumped out of an airplane and glided to earth under a parachute.  Also there are thousands of places yet to experience on this earth, even though I’ve travelled around it several times.  And I am still be amazed at the number of ways I can show my wife that I love her and always will.  I hope I never forget that.  Please God.

Butch Wife Tip #25

Does getting older really mean one has to leave those un-baited fish hooks behind or assume all that could be said or done with your loved one has already been said or done?  I don’t think so.  I think a Butch Wife Extraordinaire still whistles with abandon and sings off key as loud as she can to the one she loves.  Try it.  You’ll feel good doing it.  I’m just sayin’……………

Butch Wife Extraordinaire-in-Training

#19 Home again, home again, jiggidy, jig!

4 Aug

After several weeks of walking and driving through France, I have to admit it’s nice to come home.  “Re-entry” is going rather well, as our house is still in relatively good shape, the animals are alive and loving us, and I even lost some weight due to the healthy eating and exercising we did while on the road.  Ahhhhhhhh…..life is good.

But wait, what’s this?  Chores? Chores are required again??? Do these things NEVER stop???  Groceries, cooking, cleaning, laundry, dog walking, flat tire fixing, cob web chasing, weed pulling, fence mending -  yep, this one got our attention while on the road.  The guests staying in our house emailed us a few weeks into our stay in France about “a funny thing” happening to our fence.  My initial thoughts while reading this email was, “Really?  I never thought of my fence as funny, but hey, I’ll bite.”  “…just a small fire” they said, “…caused by a cigarette smoldering at the base of our fence.”  OMG!  My immediate reaction was not even remotely close to “Ha, ha, that was funny.”  Call me crazy but somehow that kind of news just doesn’t seem to fall into the ‘funny’ realm for me.  Not even a little giggle came to mind.  I’m just sayin’……

Anyway, coming home from a perfectly lovely long vacation in a part of the world that is just stunning and filled with all kinds of things to delight one’s senses can be disappointing in some ways.  But when one is coming home to San Francisco, which is stunning in its own way, it makes it much easier to adjust, I have to admit.  The trick I have been using recently for tackling those mundane, everyday life chores again is to think I am still in France, driving through small 11th, 12th, and 13th century villages looking for our daily croissants and baguettes. I understand Costco is a far cry from 12th century France but hey, one’s imagination can make anything look better if you just try a little.

Butch Wife Tip #19

Take time to get back into your life when you’ve been away from it for a while.  Treat yourself to some nights out and don’t just jump at those required chores right away.  Let the calming of your vacation stay with you as long as possible because those damn chores will still be there no matter what!  So give yourself and your wife a break and ignore them for a few days.  Makes re-entry a whole lot easier….trust me.

Butch Wife Extraordinaire-in-Training

#18 Journey Proud

25 Jun

This Butch wife and her Femme wife are headed out into the world over the next month, so the blog will be on vacation for a while.  I did want to talk a bit about preparing for such a trip.  Packing can be tense.  What to take?  How much to take?  Predicting the weather at the places we plan to visit well beyond what any official forecasters are willing to do can be exhausting.  Do you need two tubes of toothpaste or will you be sharing with others?  Do you lay your clothes flat in a suitcase, neatly folded or rolled?  I’m a roller, myself, as it seems to keep the wrinkles down better.

I read a Ricky Steves travel guide-book once that recommended the ideal amount of ‘stuff’ to take on a trip.  It broke down something like this:  2 pair of pants, five shirts, five pair of underwear and socks, a sweater and jacket, a swimsuit just in case, maybe a hat if you’re a hat person, and your toiletries.  Seemed sensible.  After all, you can always go to a laundromat and wash things each week.  And since you really don’t tend to see the same people all the time, repeating your daily garb won’t be apparent to anyone you run into the next day except you and your wife.  However with my wife, color coordination and a theme are essential to appropriate packing.  I won’t go into the details about this, but suffice to say, if everything you take doesn’t mix and match, you are forever banned from stepping onto foreign soil. (I keep it simple with blacks and whites as these go with anything.)

Do you notice a general tension before you take off on a trip? I do.  My housekeeper from growing up used to call this being ”journey proud.”  Great term isn’t it? Journey Proud.  Being excited about going to a place – even in our case where we don’t speak the language well, are not sure how to order our food easily, can’t read the road signs, and have absolutely no idea where ANYTHING really is.  Now that’s journey proud.

Being journey proud doesn’t stay with you.  We’ve always found once we are out in the world and away from our home country, the journey pride tension disappears almost immediately.  Our desire to experience different cultures takes over, and getting lost is a general state of being for us while on the road.  Eventually we do find ourselves with enough maps, but the stories we get into while lost have always been fun.

So to my loyal followers out there, thank you so much for encouraging me to keep writing.  Please ask your friends if they would like to follow the blog as well.  We will, however, be offline for a month.   We do a travelogue while on the road for friends and family and will continue that during this trip.  For all others, please be patient and I will get back into the blog in August.   Until then, bon voyage, y’all!  (Do you think the French will mind the colloquialism?  Probably.)

Butch Wife Tip #18

When getting ready for a trip, be easy on one another.   And if you are journeying to another country, check out the gay laws before you go because some places will shoot you for being gay.  Those places I would recommend you avoid.

Julie  Butch Wife Extraordinaire-in-Training

#16 It’s Not My Color!

12 Jun

We are getting ready for a trip to France and that, of course, entails LOTS of discussions around what to bring.  I tend to travel light being a graduate of the Ricky Steves travel guides.  My wife also travels generally light, but everything must be color coordinated with everything else.  This is non-negotiable.

Way back in the day a very good friend of ours ‘did our colors.’  For those of you who have not enjoyed this particular ‘must do’ in adult living, the theory is simple.  Everyone can be categorized into generally 4 pallets of color, adoringly named as a season – summer, fall, winter, or spring.  If you thought there were 8 or 12 categories of human, I’m here to say those other methods of dictating exactly who and what you are by general statements of existence don’t count. When it comes to dressing “one must have their colors done” to avoid the immense public humiliation of being caught wearing some article of clothing that doesn’t match perfectly the shades of color for your body type.

I’m a winter.  Don’t ask me why, I just am and have learned to accept it.  Dark hair, blue eyes.  That seems to be my mold. My wife is a spring, I think. Blond hair, blue eyes.  I am supposed to wear colors like royal blues, blue-ish reds, and deep greens, even black and white.  My wife wears army greens, golds, yellows, orange reds, and tans.  The Giants baseball team colors are perfect for her.  I’m more a Giants football team color type of person.

Our housekeepers can always tell which closet to put clothes in by the color schemes.  I have in a fit of closet mania, organized my shirts into areas of color with corresponding colored hangers.  (I have to admit that episode in my life was not something I was proud of and have since stopped.  The stress alone of maintaining that approach to storage was too much for me.)

I admit having gone through the appropriate color evaluation and ultimate scheme designation, my life seems simpler now.  When I go into a store, I don’t waste time at racks of clothing not in my color scheme.  I only go to where I see my colors.  No more am I buying clothes that once you put them on just don’t seem right somehow next to your skin.  And when those sales girls of 12 (aren’t they all 12?) come bouncing up to me wanting to put me in pink capris and tight knit sweaters I can confidently turn on them without malice and note they are just not in my colors.  This saves a lot of hurt feelings on both sides, believe me.

Butch Tip #16

Know your colors, know your fabrics.  That’s what my wife says all the time.  And when you pack things for traveling, don’t worry about mixing and matching with your mate.  Chances are you are two different color schemes and can easily pick out your stuff from hers.  But probably most important to remember, once you know your colors, you will never make the mistake again of buying her the wrong piece of clothing at least due to color.  Staying in her palette is a winning combination on a lot of fronts….I’m just sayin’.

Julie  Butch Wife Extraordinaire-in-Training

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