Several years ago I had breast reduction surgery. It wasn’t because of any specific dangerous illness attacking my body or because of an unwanted malformation. They were just too big for me and, more importantly, they interfered with my golf swing. I had also spent years dealing with periodic back problems that typically left me flat on my back for at least a week 3 to 4 times a year. Not fun. So when our money situation improved to a point where the surgery became a viable option, I had my breasts reduced to a more manageable size.
I recovered nicely and even my wife liked the ‘new me’ after it was over. However, one day I noticed something disturbing – they’re sinking! Not only are they sinking, they’re spreading out in places I didn’t know breasts could go!!!! This is NOT what I signed up for – I’m just saying. Now I’m beginning to believe the bulge under my armpit is more than just my excess fat yet to fall off from my ever diligent exercising. My breasts have definitely taken an unusual turn to the left and right, when before, they stood proud and perky out front.
I started looking around at women breasts on the street who appeared to be about my age. Low and behold, we’re ALL sinking! And for some, they are not just sinking, but experiencing a significant Fall From Grace!!! Though I’ve always been perplexed by why the world seemed so constantly fixated on women’s breasts, it is a wonder why no one told me while growing up to expect a Titanic moment after 60 when it comes to my chest! I think this is something mother’s should discuss with daughters, even if we are gay. This latest surprise was a bit disconcerting to say the least, and a heads up would have been nice.
Butch Wife Tip #10
To my male followers, thanks for following me and sorry, this tip is not for you. My mama used to say every woman needs a good bra. I think that’s good advice. If you are a ‘well endowed’ woman, living in sports bras or bras with no support, or even no bras at all, will catch up with you after 60. As a comedian once said, after 50 your body gets a mind of its own and gravity takes over. Trust me in this those words a VERY true. And for those of you experiencing back trouble on a regular basis, consider a reduction. Most doctors will agree to it and insurance companies will pay for it. And believe me on this as well, your partner will love the fact that you’re taking care of yourself so the two of you can play more often together.
Once you’ve got yourselves shaped and outfitted, STAND UP AND BE COUNTED!!!!