Tag Archives: Lesbian

#22 – Beware the Invasion of the Alien Chore Spores!!!!

21 Aug

Today I did something I have never done before in my life without some forethought and planning – I unconsciously took all my tee shirts out of my drawer, refolded each, and carefully stacked them back into the drawer in categories of type.  OMG!! Something has come over me and it’s insidious.  I didn’t even realize I was doing it until it was done and I sat on the bed staring at a perfectly organized clothes drawer!  The only thing I could think of that made me do this was I must be sick, but I felt fine.  I checked my head for a fever and everything seemed cool.  No obvious aches or pains were surfacing from inside my gut.   I hadn’t ruled out a nervous disorder but I didn’t experience any twitches or shakes.  No matter where I checked everything in my physical life seemed fine.

Then I started thinking I was perhaps having a nervous breakdown.   I have to admit this was a hard diagnosis to accept since I have been extremely relaxed over these past few days with life seemingly good on most fronts. But one never knows when dark thoughts and feelings will come creeping in on their own and take over your consciousness with not so much as a ‘bye your leave!’  This possibility started to make some sense to me.  After all I just reached into that drawer for a tee shirt and without any hesitation whatsoever refolded it neatly.  I’ve heard such unconscious actions could even be indicative of a body-snatching entity lurking in your blood stream, taking control of your mind, and making a person do things they would never have done in the past.   I gotta say it seemed to fit the circumstances at first glance.

So I decided if indeed I had become possessed by alien spores, at least they were neat freaks, so how bad could that be?  Until I thought, would a true Butch Wife allow herself to be overwhelmed by some alien, wind surfin’ bacteria blowing up her nose to infect the left side of her brain and incite it to do chores?  Of course not!

But then there’s the physical evidence that something in my Butch Wife mode was out of sync……my tee shirt drawer was perfectly organized and I had done it totally out of the blue.  It wasn’t a planned chore for the day; it wasn’t just straightening the shirts out a bit because it included organizing them by type as well.   Something was definitely odd about my behavior.

I have come to accept the fact that semi-retirement from corporate life can make one susceptible to what I like to call ‘the unconscious chore syndrome.’  It impacts your ability to lounge without a care in the world.  All of a sudden you are washing that dish before putting it in the dishwasher, or you start dusting the table while you are sitting watching TV.  It definitely takes away your sense of control once you realize you did an unplanned chore just for the heck of it.  And it can last for several hours or even days if you don’t take steps to block its progress as soon as you can.

Butch Wife Tip #22

I would suggest a strong verbal rebuttal to shake your brain loose from the grip of this alien chore spore disease.  Perhaps a loud, forceful “NO!” every time the very thought of doing a chore.  At least by yelling “NO!” you might  begin to feel these alien chore spores start to retreat and mind control start to return to you.  If that doesn’t work, avoid eye contact with anything out of place, askew, or needing washing for at least 48 hours.  I suggest lots of outdoor activities to keep you away from any cleaning materials in your house.  Or try going to the movies where your mind can get caught up in the adventures of the show and thus, not give rise to stronger alien chore spore enticements.  Sleep during the day and play loud music at night while keeping the lights down low.  This will help to avoid eye contact with any chore lurking in the corners trying to gain your attention and eventually your soul!

Or if none of that helps and you still find yourself unconsciously doing house chores ‘just because,’ call me.  I have lots of chores that could be done in my house and am willing to give you all the time you want to complete them for me.   In particular if you have a craving for dust bunny cleanup ANYTIME, just let me know.

Julie

Butch Wife Extraordinaire-in-Training

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#20 Mending Fences

7 Aug

I had previously made reference in one of my postings to a small fire under our fence that occurred while we were traveling.  Given the nature of the damage and the likelihood some of the fence would eventually fail, I decided a project was necessary to mend those areas badly charred.   Since a plan for fixing the fence seemed a worthwhile endeavor, the logistics of the project took shape when another one of those ‘thought thingies’ popped into my head.  (I have to admit I try to avoid deep thoughts most of the time as one thing tends to lead to other, and stops are hard to make when a roll like that starts. But they do keep popping up every so often so what’s a gal supposed to do?)

The ‘thought thingy’ popping up in my mind this time focused on the proper role of butch wives when it comes to carpentry work around the house.  The initial evaluation of this question said to me absolutely!  A ‘true butch wife’ should be able to handle a tape measure, power saw and hammer, right? After all, it would seem to just require tactical planning capabilities, prioritization skills, logic, strength of purpose and patience – all qualities I found necessary for one in the corporate world to survive, and so have attributed to any butch wife worth her salt.  And I have to admit, I hoped the thought of seeing me in a full tool belt around my middle could possibly be sexy for my wife.  At least it couldn’t hurt.

So I stood there looking at the fence and thought …”Finally, a proper butch wife chore.”  I would just have to first take the burned out section off the existing support beams and nail some tall-ish long boards to some square-ish upright boards sticking out of the ground, and ensure they all meet together on the other less square-ish boards running horizontal to the ground.  Not a big deal – right?  I didn’t need to dig post holes, for example, which would take a bit more muscle than this old body can handle given our ‘dirt’ is basically hard as a rock.

I quickly discovered, however, that even the initial measuring required to determine what size replacement boards were necessary was not so straight forward.  First I found out my tape measure is in meters not inches.  Where this thing came from I have no idea as I just saw it in the garage.  I assumed all tape measures were the same but nooooooo!!!  Take it from me, there is no such thing as a fence board .02cm X 20cm X 182cm.

And even if the tape measure is in inches, not meters, measuring, I found out, is not so straight forward either.  For example, try holding the darn thing still at one end of the board while stretching out fully to the other end of the board without losing your place at the first end of the board.   In my experience the measuring tape ends up falling over my head and down my neck since my arms aren’t quite long enough to hold the thing in place! Not a good Butch Wife look even if you do wear a sexy tool belt.

And, I discovered, if you aren’t tall enough, you have to place your finger on the tape somewhere between the top of the board and its bottom so you can get the total length measurement.  But by doing that, an inevitable question comes up – does one have to make allowances for the fact the tape will bend slightly over the existing boards still there as you are trying to measure the entire thing, potentially adding additional length that might throw the tape measurement off?  And if you do have to make small allowances for that inevitable tape bending going on because your arms aren’t long enough to stretch the entire length of what you are measuring, then how much to you subtract from the total!!!???  I have to admit fence building started to become a more complex puzzle than I expected rather quickly.

There was a bright spot.  I found out fence boards come in regular sizes.  One just needs to decide how high and how many given the space being enclosed and voila!  What happens, you could ask, if the space needing to be enclosed doesn’t exactly fit the normal widths of all the boards you bought?  Trying to cut one of those large fence boards straight having absolutely no experience in such things, and, in my case, only hand tools to assist, is an effort easily resulting in lost fingers or, at the very least, in crooked edges.  At least that what it seemed like to me at the time.

After a rocky start on my “proper Butch Wife chore,” and visions of an uncertain ending, I finally decided I probably wasn’t ready for this type of chore.  Nor was I sure I was really strong enough to hold a six-foot-long redwood board level while trying to nail it to another board.  I have to admit the likelihood my attempts at fixing this fence would result in disaster began running through my head.

The only logical conclusion making sense for me at this point was to abandon my efforts and hire someone to do it for me.  I admit I felt a bit like a failure and at the very least thought I should give my Butch Wife card back due to wimpishness. But in the end, I forgave myself and decided being able to hire it out was Butch Wife acceptable. I have, after all, worked almost 50 years of my life just so I could ask someone else better equipped and stronger than I to do this kind of chore for me.  And a proper Butch Wife knows when to call in the experts. Right?

Butch Wife Tip #20

When starting a carpentry project on your home take time to think through all the steps required before jumping into it.  There may be things where outside expertise or brawn would be beneficial, and you should give yourself a chance to take advantage of that when possible.  In my mind being a strong, capable Butch Wife is more about being a person strong of character and true of heart than it is about looking the part and failing to recognize when some things are better done by others, don’t you think?   I do (but I can still wear the tool belt, right?)

Julie

Butch Wife Extraordinaire-In-Training

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#17 You’re Okay Just the Way You Are

16 Jun

I think there’s a moment in some butch wives lives (boy, try saying that 5 times real fast – wives lives, wives lives, wives….oh, never mind) when one’s attempts at appropriate social decorum may come into question.  I had one such moment the other night while investigating a loud noise in our yard.  Our dog started barking in the middle of the night which woke me up.  Not an unusual occurrence in our household, but a consistently loud one nonetheless.  I got out of bed, opened the back door, and wandered onto the porch for a look around, closing the door behind me.  As soon as I left the door space I felt it creep up my back and neck -  the realization I had just locked myself out.

Now normally this is not a major issue.  Planning ahead for contingencies, we have provisions for just such a situation because we have locked ourselves out several times in the past.  But in this case, I was drowsy, half-naked and bare footed, and assumed I would have to come around the house and into the front door to get back in. Immediately the thought of going out the back gate with just my t-shirt on and a rather exposed bare bottom seemed, well, unseemly.  My first steps were to check again and make sure I couldn’t break into my door, which, of course I couldn’t, but I had to try.

My mind started racing.  The thought of someone seeing an older grey haired woman, bare bottomed and without shoes hopping and yelping along the side of a darkened house at 3 in the morning could be humiliating for a truly butch wife.  Right? Could this situation be cause for losing my ‘Butch Wife Extraordinaire’ card for all time.  What if a policeman caught me trying to get into my house?  Would going to jail for breaking and entering really be a good idea while wearing only a t-shirt and no bottoms?

Therefore, I did the only thing I could under the circumstances.  I turned on the dog and blamed him for closing the door in the first place!  No actually I tried to find a place to sit and think about the best way to avoid the social humility of walking up our street half-naked.  This turned out to be harder than one might think, since it gets foggy around here at night and finding a dry spot to sit on that avoids the possibility of splinters wasn’t easy.  It’s not like pulling off a thoughtful pose like Rodin’s The Thinker or anything, but I was able to situate each cheek just so nothing got pinched or bruised on the only dry spot I could find.

Do real butch wives actually have these kinds of thoughts or issues I wondered.  After all, we’ve all done something dumb like this, right?  Anyway, the avoidance of public humiliation was achieved when I remembered I hadn’t locked the upstairs deck doors.  Upon inspection sure enough I could get in without running half-naked through the neighborhood and felt safe and warm once my bare bottom was inside.

But the whole situation brought up a question for me in the end (no pun intended here).  How do we learn shame?  I saw a movie once where the parent asked his gay son, “When did I teach you shame?” when the son was reluctant to come out to his family.  They knew he was gay and loved him anyway but somehow this son couldn’t accept it in himself.

Being caught in the cold with less than is generally accepted clothing on reminded me that shame IS taught.  I like to think the use of ‘shameful’ is more directed at what one does perhaps rather than for who someone is.  However, some think anyone who is not like themselves must at their very core be a ’shame to mankind.’  Can you imagine growing up with the knowledge that your family and those who are supposed to love you unconditionally think you are a ‘shame to mankind?’  Wow.  Can’t say I know any one person with that much power to impact all of mankind, except maybe John Lennon.  But that’s just me.  I vote for the elimination of ‘shame’ from our social lexicon.   What d’ya say?

Butch Wife Tip #17

Question: Do you realize how cold and wet outdoor furniture gets in the middle of the night?  I do now, and caution all to check the targeted sitting apparatus with your hand before plopping down on it with a bare bottom after 1am in San Francisco.  For those of you who simply MUST plan ahead, ensure your sleeping t-shirts are long enough to cover your butt when you sit down.  Improper t-shirt length considerations could someday lead to handcuffed arrests for indecent exposure.  I’m just saying…and if you ARE caught wearing less than you’d prefer, stand proud and tall with confidence, because you are okay just as you are.  (You could try whistling but then that might not look good given the circumstances. )

Julie Butch Wife Extraordinaire-in-Training

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#16 It’s Not My Color!

12 Jun

We are getting ready for a trip to France and that, of course, entails LOTS of discussions around what to bring.  I tend to travel light being a graduate of the Ricky Steves travel guides.  My wife also travels generally light, but everything must be color coordinated with everything else.  This is non-negotiable.

Way back in the day a very good friend of ours ‘did our colors.’  For those of you who have not enjoyed this particular ‘must do’ in adult living, the theory is simple.  Everyone can be categorized into generally 4 pallets of color, adoringly named as a season – summer, fall, winter, or spring.  If you thought there were 8 or 12 categories of human, I’m here to say those other methods of dictating exactly who and what you are by general statements of existence don’t count. When it comes to dressing “one must have their colors done” to avoid the immense public humiliation of being caught wearing some article of clothing that doesn’t match perfectly the shades of color for your body type.

I’m a winter.  Don’t ask me why, I just am and have learned to accept it.  Dark hair, blue eyes.  That seems to be my mold. My wife is a spring, I think. Blond hair, blue eyes.  I am supposed to wear colors like royal blues, blue-ish reds, and deep greens, even black and white.  My wife wears army greens, golds, yellows, orange reds, and tans.  The Giants baseball team colors are perfect for her.  I’m more a Giants football team color type of person.

Our housekeepers can always tell which closet to put clothes in by the color schemes.  I have in a fit of closet mania, organized my shirts into areas of color with corresponding colored hangers.  (I have to admit that episode in my life was not something I was proud of and have since stopped.  The stress alone of maintaining that approach to storage was too much for me.)

I admit having gone through the appropriate color evaluation and ultimate scheme designation, my life seems simpler now.  When I go into a store, I don’t waste time at racks of clothing not in my color scheme.  I only go to where I see my colors.  No more am I buying clothes that once you put them on just don’t seem right somehow next to your skin.  And when those sales girls of 12 (aren’t they all 12?) come bouncing up to me wanting to put me in pink capris and tight knit sweaters I can confidently turn on them without malice and note they are just not in my colors.  This saves a lot of hurt feelings on both sides, believe me.

Butch Tip #16

Know your colors, know your fabrics.  That’s what my wife says all the time.  And when you pack things for traveling, don’t worry about mixing and matching with your mate.  Chances are you are two different color schemes and can easily pick out your stuff from hers.  But probably most important to remember, once you know your colors, you will never make the mistake again of buying her the wrong piece of clothing at least due to color.  Staying in her palette is a winning combination on a lot of fronts….I’m just sayin’.

Julie  Butch Wife Extraordinaire-in-Training

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#15 What D’ya Mean Lean Right?!

9 Jun

Gay Pride month in San Francisco has started.  This is when the entire city dresses up in our rainbow colors and the TV stations play movies and hold discussion panels on topics ‘of substance’ and ‘import’ on being gay.  Visitors from all over the world come to celebrate their lives, as do we who live here.  And gay couples blatantly display acts of love and caring for one another in the streets.  Oh My!!!

Back in the 80’s I used to be on the board of directors for the Pride Foundation.  We were the group that coordinated the development of the gay flag for our community.  I remember the first year we started placing the flags up and down Market Street for our parade.  What a feeling of freedom to see them.   I friend of mine and I were trying to get the flags attached to light poles along the route before the parade started that first year when he said to me, “We may never get these down again.”  And now to note the rainbow symbol spread all over the world is something that just seems incredible to me.  No, Michael, I doubt these flags will ever be brought down again.

One of the best shows in the Gay Parade for San Francisco begins the parade.  ‘Dykes on Bikes.’  Butch Wives with horse power!!!  I think every butch wife should try a motor cycle at least once in their life.  You can do it – put that strong conviction of yours to the test and get one.  I would recommend you start off with a ‘smallish’ size first to see if you really feel okay with it.  I bet the first time you open up the accelerator and feel the power between your legs……….well, I’m just sayin’!!!!!

I bought a motor scooter one time.  It was Italian (Aprilia Scarabeo) and could make it up the hills of San Francisco with no problem at all.  However, when I took my wife for rides on it she invariably would be leaning left when I was leaning right.  Not good form on a motorized vehicle, open to the air on all sides.  And she told me my driving scares her to death in a car, so you can imagine her fear on a cycle!  This from a lady who drives looking sideways into people’s houses along the street, searching for new decorating tips!

Butch Wife Tip #15

Its Gay Pride month – be proud of who and what you are, and remember you’re okay just the way you are.  And if your wife has trepidations about getting a motorcycle, take heed because if she leans left while you’re turning right it won’t be a good look for anyone.  I’m just sayin’……………

Julie Butch Wife Extraordinaire-in-Training

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#14 No MSG please

8 Jun

My wife has taken a short trip back to see her folks in Michigan, leaving me to fend for myself while she is gone.  Normally, a hiatus from each other every so often is a good thing, as I then sleep when I want, wake when I want, and, wait for it, yes, even cook what I want to eat!!!  These are all good things until the ‘cook what I want’ part comes up.

Now I’m a whiz when it comes to breakfast – I can cook an egg just about anyway you’d like to eat it.  When I was in college, I lived on eggs and toast for years. Scrambled, fried, even poached, if that’s your liking, and I make a mean deviled egg during the holidays.  And lunches with a salad or sandwich are easily obtained from any close deli or corner grocer.

But nightly when it comes to ‘what I want to eat’ part, that’s another story.  I seem to be bending to a more Asian cuisine lately. A friend of ours gave us a wok and a Martin Yan cookbook to get us started.  Asian dishes take a bit to pull together, as I’ve discovered trying some of the basic recipes in this cookbook.  And in Asian dishes there are many ingredients and of course sauces – poison sauce, hoisun sauce, fish sauce, hot sauce, cold sauce, ‘God only knows whats in it but it must be eaten with this dish’ sauce. You get the picture. These dishes aren’t the kind you just open a can of this and a can of that and mix together until smooth.  Noooooo.  You have to chop, dice, combine, heat, cool, mix, wrap, dunk and finally savor those 2000+ tastes coming together in that first bite of spring roll you just made from scratch.  Ah, it’s a feeling of real accomplishment when you are ready to actually eat that Asian combination of colors and smells you just ‘whipped’ up.

I friend of mine told me recently she went into an Asian grocery store in San Francisco looking to buy lemon zest.  (Okay, who caught this first mistake?) and came out with only a bunch of bananas cause she couldn’t tell what was what, and when and where the various stuff on those shelves should be used.  I kinda feel that way when going into a fancy lingerie shop.  I don’t know why but I chalk that up to a genetic quirk in my makeup.

Butch Wife Tip #14

When you’re on your own and its time for dinner, cooking Asian food on your own is tricky and requires several sets of hands to get it all put together before midnight.  Therefore, my tip is to go to a good Asian restaurant, order a healthy selection of veggies and fish, and savor the varied sauces they bring to you.  Someone spent all day pulling those ingredients together and should be applauded for the effort.

Julie  Butch Wife Extraordinaire-in-Training

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#13 Shall We Dance?

6 Jun

I was sitting on our deck today watching the world go by and had a thought.  I know they don’t come as often or as concise I’d like, but there you are…….and here is one.  Should butch wives succumb to the music in their ears and spontaneously burst into dance moves no matter where we are?  Once those little white wires are firmly affixed to our heads and ears, can we actually avoid such an outburst of bodily movement?

I decided to take a survey.  While watching the world run, walk and skip by the house, I took notice of those female persons with earplugs.  The first concern was were those under surveillance likely butch wives…….and in a totally unscientific decision process I decided most were. After all this is Bernal Heights in San Francisco – the lesbian, dog, and vegan capital of the world I think.

Of the dozen or so individuals I saw with ear plugs in, all but 2 had a distinctive rhythm to their gait but no display of total abandonment or sudden bursts of twirls or high leg kicks. One woman with ear plugs looked like they were listening to a lecture on something, and had no particular rhythm in her step at all – often stopping and starting for no apparent reason.  Another one seemed to be talking into their wires so I assumed they were on the phone sans music and eliminated them from the study.

So my original question had yet to be answered……….should butch wives abandon any sense of decorum and burst into dance when our music receptors are tweaked?  From the survey it is clear most people can’t help but respond to rhythmic sounds no matter where we are or how we feel.  A foot begins to move up and down without any awareness on our part, or a finger begins to tap the table to the beat of the music in your ear.  I find if I’m feeling low, music will also bring a smile or sense of ’okayness’ to my soul, and the world just seems like a better place.

Butch Wife Tip #13

When you’re down or out of sorts for any reason, turn on your radio or music player, grab your wife, and dance with abandon.  It’s the one thing we all have in common regardless of our choices in life.  And its the one thing that seems to always, without fail, put a smile on your face every time you do it.  So do it!!

Julie  Butch Wife Extraordinaire-in-Training

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Aside

I was recently …

4 Jun

I was recently confronted with the loss of a relative.  I know these things happen, but each time a loved one dies, for me it still hurts just as much as the first time I lost someone I loved.  No one can make that loss seem less of a hole in my life, regardless of how close I am to the ones trying to fill it or how much they care about me.

And doesn’t it feel strange when you realize the next day actually arrives on time and the pets still need to be fed, and the dust bunnies are still gathering in the corners of the hallway waiting to take over when you’re not looking.  You’d think that in times like this life would take a moment to reflect and feel the loss.  But it doesn’t….it just keeps spinning.

This made me think when I die I’d like someone to take a moment and weep for me.  It seems fitting……..and right…..and a loving thing to do.   So here’s a moment for you, David………….You were so loved and adored by all who knew you.  The world is less because we lost you too early, and my world was so much more because you were in it.   Thank you for touching so many with the great gift of you.   You WILL be missed by many.

Julie  Butch Wife Extraordinarie-in-Training

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#12 When in Doubt – Trader Joe’s

28 May

Okay, today I am ignoring those pesky little dust bunnies growing in the corner of the hallway, and am focusing on cooking.  For those butch wives whose cooking skills mirror mine, my sincere sympathies.  There is, however, hope.  Have you discovered Trader Joe’s?  In San Francisco we have several around town, and I have to say, for the two of us, their packaged entrees are just the right size and taste good.

When I started checking out cookbooks to come up with something to fix for dinner, the choices and tasks to complete the recipes noted were daunting.  Living in one of the finest restaurant towns in the world has left me with a good sense of which places and food types I like, but when it comes to preparing them from scratch that’s a whole other story.  In the recipe books I tend to turn to the ingredient listings to decide if this is something we might like to eat.  I have to admit, however, looking at ingredients for me is sometimes like trying to read the Dead Sea Scrolls - I just have no idea what some of this stuff is and whether it can be bought or is a combination of other stuff I have to pull together.  I think cookbooks should tell you if this ingredient is one thing or hybrid of several things.  And they should also add some notes of possible ingredient substitutes in case the one thing needed is just not available in any store a human would go for food.

The ingredients I can read also have some mystery qualities as well.  For example, what is arugula really and why is it better than head lettuce?   And how is aioli different from mayonnaise?  Also what’s the difference between a filet and a fillet?  When are you supposed to use which for beef? Or is there some unspoken knowledge passed down from generation to generation via secret tribal dances where only a few chosen ones actually KNOW?

And when it comes to measurements – exactly how much is a pinch? What if my ‘pinches’ be bigger than the originator of the recipe since my hand is larger?  Doesn’t that mess up the proportions of intended spice to food?   And what about measurements that reference “about” so much should be used.  How much is “about”?  I got no measuring tool for “about.”  Does anyone?

Butch Wife Tip #12

Given the uncertainty here, I have come to rely on Trader Joe’s.  And, for my friends in San Francisco, I have discovered the best time to shop the Trader Joe’s on 9th street is Tuesday morning.  I have lived in this town for over 40 years, and its only been this year that I can say I know when this store is least crowded.  I’m not sure how to feel about this new found knowledge in terms of its relative importance in relation to universal Truths, but there you have it.  Their entrees sizes are just right for one or two people and they can be surprisingly tasty.  So give ‘em a try.  Saves time in prep work that you can spend with your wife wondering why you didn’t go out to dinner in the first place.

Julie  Butch Wife Extraordinaire-in-Training

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#11A – Femme Wife Response to Patio Surfing

24 May

And now a perspective from the femme wife’s point of view – ok yes I was towel surfing on a Caribbean island patio shortly after our lives were threatened by a tropical storm however, there was a VERY good reason for this. We had cleared (at my insistence and some general hurricane advice) all the furniture off the lanai. As we prepared to leave I just didn’t have it in me to have our nice French hosts come home to find an empty space where their outside living room used to be. So being the good girl scout that I am I was wiping down the patio in the most efficient way I could think of (i.e. towels on my shuffling feet) while my wife sat by saying, “I told you we didn’t have to clear everything off”. She was right and I was wrong (yes dear I said it!) but I didn’t feel I should have to do all the work just because I had chosen to follow the National Weather Service’s advice and not hers! I was madder than a wet hen about my solo efforts and rather than talk things out like a grown-up I chose to show my displeasure by scowling at my wife each time I shuffled past the window.   Finally, realizing that my imitation of a pissed off locomotive was getting nowhere and I was making a fool of myself , I calmed down and went in to apologize for my childish behavior. I’d been so unpleasant (and yes dear unreasonable) I assumed I would be met with a well-earned cold shoulder. As I began my mea copa Julie could no longer contain her glee and burst into good-natured giggles at my performance. As it turned out we both had a good laugh and to this day we often diffuse marital spats with imitations of the “Femme Wife” shuffle………..

Femme Wife Tip#1:

If you love each other, and don’t take yourself too seriously, even when you’re wrong things can turn out right.

Mindy – Femme Wife Extraordinaire

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